FUN WITH THE AKATSUKI!
by Writer's Muse
Summary: Everyday life with the Akatsuki can be fun. Hinoiri experiences it day to day as they see new things and deal with new friendships. Going to Jashin mart, fighting monster food and the dreaded 'Wall of Shipping' are all part of Hinoiri's new life as the medic of the Akatsuki! Pairing not yet decided. Drabble series.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE: TOBI AND THE KITCHEN**

Typical of most S-ranked criminal organizations, there were few members that could cook and the Akatsuki was no exception. Among the few that could was Konan, Itachi and the newest member Hinoiri (which means 'sunset'). Though, it was hard to convince either of the three to cook, but since most members didn't want to die a death of a thousand paper cuts or Sharingan torture, most of the cooking fell onto Hinoiri, the new medic. Poor little Hinoiri was weaker than the rest of the members, actually she couldn't fight at all. If she could, she wouldn't have to slave over a hot stove most of the time and might be able to actually train for once, but sadly no. Her torture didn't stop there, oh no, it reached its peak the day Tobi set foot into the kitchen...

Hinoiri was cooking, as usual for her around 10:30 in the morning, getting ready for lunch of spaghetti and meatballs as requested by Kisame when he got back from a mission. As the others were relaxing in the living room (except for Pein and Konan as they were 'working' on paperwork), Tobi decided to go into the kitchen to help the medic. Sighs of relief were heard from Deidara, Hidan and Kisame as the 'good boy' went to go bug another victim. It wasn't till later that they heard strange things coming out of the room...

"Tobi... Don't you think it's a little too big to fit? Isn't it going to hurt something?" Came Hinoiri's feminine voice from behind the door, slightly nervous. Tobi's high pitch reply came soon after...

"Tobi thinks its fine! Tobi's a good boy, don't worry Hino-chan!"

"But Tobi, is it suppose to be hard? I don't think that's quite right..."

"Doesn't Hino-chan trust Tobi?"

"I do Tobi, but this is serious! That thing can do some damage! I've seen things go wrong when it happens to other people!"

"Don't worry Hino-chan, everything will be fine! Tobi's a good boy!"

"O-okay..." Some bangs, crashes and clanging pots were heard from the kitchen causing the already shocked Akatsuki members to play rock, paper, scissors to see who would open the door to the kitchen. Being as unlucky as he was, it was Deidara that had to open the door. While the others were being 'encouraging', Deidara opened the door with shaking hands to see a disaster zone.

Pots, pans and other utensils were all over the place as Hinoiri and Tobi tried to wrestle a giant meatball into the oven, keyword; tried. No matter how hard they pushed, shoved or any other words that mean to get a giant meatball into the oven, it didn't work. Not only that, the oven was belching black smoke from all the abuse it was suffering from. Deidara just exited the room, shook his head as an 'all clear' to the others and went to his room to forget the weird scene. When Pein heard what had happened, he issued a new rule; the kitchen door must always be open...

**Hope you enjoyed~!**

**Actually, this was pretty interesting to write. It kind of just happened... Oh well. Please review, I want to hear... err... READ your reactions!**


	2. Chapter 2, part one

**CHAPTER TWO: JASHINMART, PART ONE**

It was a cold September morning at the Akatsuki base, where unexpected things happen every day. This morning's unexpected thing though, was truly unusual; Hidan was up before anyone else. Usually the albino Jashinist was awake at noon or sometime around there, but today he woke up at 5 in the morning, humming a tune that sound like, "I can't wait to get killed," and, "I'm going to kill somebody". None of which put the other members at ease. Everyone was on guard, but when they actually talked to Hidan, they found out that he was more or less, just happy and not in the mode to try to chop their heads off. Which begs the question, 'Why was he so happy?'. Hinoiri was the one to ask that question.

"Because Jashinmart is having its grand fucking opening today! Every fucking Jashinist that is motherfucking anyone will be there!" Was his excitedly yell (*cough*Fan girl squeal*cough*) reply.

"So you want to go there?" Hinoiri asked carefully, wondering if the question was going to offend him and make her on the list of 'Sacrifices to Jashin-sama', but it seemed that Hidan didn't really care about what the tone of voice meant. He was so focused on the idea of Jashinmart that he just waved a hand at her and said,

"Of course I'm fucking going, what else would I do today?"

"Umm... Sacrifice people?"

"That too, but fucking first: JASHINMART!" Hidan grabbed Hinoiri by the waist and put her over his shoulder, "And you motherfucking get to come too."

He whisked her off to his 'beloved' new store without even noticing that the poor little medic had yet to change out of her pajamas...

When they arrived at Jashinmart, Hinoiri's straight white golden hair looked like it had been turned into a bird's nest, and Hidan was panting from the long journey they just endured. The building in front of them did not look like a haunted mansion you would expect a freaky, religious store of a god that wanted you to sacrifice people. No, it looked like a modern day Wal-mart with a different name and red instead of blue on its sign. An 'open' sign was blinking on the door, but from where Hidan and Hinoiri were standing, it looked like no one was there...

"Do you think that it was abandon?" Hinoiri questioned, unsure if they were actually in the right place and wondering if they were just at a decoy store. Hidan didn't answer; no smart-ass statement or swearing insult, he just went to the store and pulled it open.

A wave of sound hit them; little children just getting to know Jashin were looking at toy scythes, adult women were looking at clothes and accessories, and men were looking at Jashin blessed weapons. On counters, there were Jashin necklaces, books and even bathroom necessities with Jashin symbols on them. It was a Jashin-sama follower's dream and Hinoiri was experiencing it too. Her wide and amber eyes were flitting from one place to the next, she had never seen a store so busy in her life!

"Welcome to Jashinmart! If you need help finding anything please don't hesitant to stab the bell man with your Jashin blessed weapons." The voice made them turn their attention to the female store greeter. Hidan nodded at her, more interested in the items around and at a loss for words for the first time in his life.

"Thank you," Was Hinoiri's quiet reply as she was dragged by Hidan to something that caught his interest. It was going to be a long day indeed...

**Okay, so I decide to do this chapter in two parts since I have decided to make it a drabble series instead of a chaptered, normal story. There is chapters... Just not as long as a normal fanfiction...**

**Enjoy :D**


	3. Chapter 2, part two

**CHAPTER TWO: JASHINMART, PART TWO**

Hinoiri stared at the thing in front of her with wide eyes. Never had she seen something so... Odd... No, odd didn't even begin to explain the mace-like/scythe-like/cane weapon thingy that was before her. Hidan though, looked like he knew exactly what it was, but since he didn't notice her confused and slightly disturbed face, he didn't bother to explain. This fact left Hinoiri to find out for herself by looking for the well hidden price tag. Being as well hidden as it was, even a ninja like Hinoiri had a hard time finding it. After five minutes of looking for the price tag, Hinoiri face palmed at the name and price it was given. In comic sans font, the name read, "GATE OF SUFFERING AND PAIN TO THE WORLD THAT DOESN'T EXIST AND WE CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT IT CAN DO TO YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN!", and was at the price of "215425 RYO".

"That is far too expensive Hidan... And weird. I don't think Kazkuzu would be happy if you bought it..." Hinoiri stated as she eyed Hidan nervously to see how he would react.

"What do you fucking mean! It's at a fucking bargain price!" He yelled, looking at her as if she SHOULD know this fact, but sadly she didn't. She wasn't even Jashinist. She shrugged and decided to look around for herself, looking at magazines and books which were her favourite things. To her surprise, Jashinist books were actually quite interesting and when she found Jashin romance novels, she almost fainted with happiness. 'Finally a religion that actually writes things I like in a romance novel! Violence and a damsel that the hero falls in love with!' Hinoiri thought happily to herself as she hugged the books to her chest. None of the members would question why she had Jashin romance novels either, not since they snuck into her room, and saw her 'Wall of Shippings' and her bookshelf full of romance novels. Hinoiri was a hopeful romantic at heart and wasn't afraid to show that. Too bad none of the other Akatsuki members ever completely fitted her vision of a knight in shining armor. Thus she ended up dreaming of her prince as she read her romance mushy-gushy novels shamelessly. With the books tucked under her arm, Hinoiri decided to return to Hidan to see if she could possibly get him to pay for the books for her as he ran off with before she could obtain her wallet. As she moved through the multiple bodies she realized that she was hopelessly lost. Sighing, Hinoiri looked for the bell men that the nice lady told them about earlier. It wasn't hard to find one due to the multiple stab wounds all over his body, but now was the hard part; calling for help. She didn't have a weapon to stab him with, so he probably wouldn't call for help. Therefore Hinoiri had to ask someone if she could borrow their weapon. A girl with black hair caught her eye and Hinoiri decided to ask her for help...

"Excuse me?" The girl turned around slightly annoyed at the amber eyed girl before her, "Could I borrow your weapon so I can get some help? I was so excited that the grand opening was today that I forgot mine at home." Blushing and adverting her eyes to make the lie seem more realistic, Hinoiri waited for the other's reply, but she never got it. Instead, the girl took it upon herself to stab the bell man for her and point towards Hinoiri's direction, saying something Hinoiri couldn't hear before walking away.

"You needed help Miss?" The bell man said smiling at her like an uncle to his niece.

"Yes, I-" but before she could finish her sentence, a voice came from behind her.

"There you fucking are!" Hinoiri turned around to see Hidan coming towards them. The bell man realized that she would be taken care of, left to deal with other customers.

"I was motherfucking looking for you, where did you go?" Hidan swore, but when he saw the books she was carrying, he stopped and said, "Oh fucking hell. Not more?" She smiled and nodded.

"Can you buy them for me? You rushed me off to here so fast that you didn't give me time to change or get my wallet." She asked and explained. He then realized what attire she was in; a red, lacy camisole and black fuzzy sweats.

"F-fucking sure..." Said Hidan as he turned around hoping to hide his slight blush, but of course the person he didn't want to notice it, noticed it. A toothy grin appeared on Hinoiri's face, interactions with Hidan were going to get more interesting...


	4. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE: I CHOOSE YOU! DEIDARA-CHU!**

Something electrifying was in the air of the Akatsuki base. No one seemed to remain calm and relax, even Itachi and Hinoiri were having a hard time sitting down long enough to begin reading their new books. This weird electrification made everyone do the only really physical thing that the base had to offer; training. Hinoiri was even included in the training sessions as the others knew that one would have to be calm to cook... Or she did at least... They all took turns fighting one another. There were pairings of Hidan vs. Tobi, Kazuku vs. Zetsu, and even the pairing of Kisame vs. the little weak Hinoiri who had bruises all over her body from the stronger members. It was during her fight with Kisame though, that one of her biggest secrets came out.

Kisame was attacking her with his tampon of a sword as usual and Hinoiri was doing everything in her power to see that she did not get hit with the chakra draining weapon. She barely had any chance to think about hitting him with her own weapon, a lance, due to him being incredibly speedy for his size and because Hinoiri was only a little bit faster than him with her weapon, only be a small margin. If Kisame had her lance, she was sure that she would probably be dead. When Kisame got distracted by one of Deidara's bombs exploding a little too close to him, Hinoiri saw her chance to hit him with all she's got. But as mentioned before, she is weak, so when she pulled back her fist to punch him into a wall, he barely felt it and her hand was felt like it hit a brick wall.

"Stupid muscles! You're not supposed to be that hard!" Weird feeling were coursing through Hinoiri's veins as she said this, not realizing that she should probably retreat away from Kisame before she started ranting about stupid muscles. She didn't though, and was now stuck between the body of Kisame and his tampon sword.

"H-hey Kisame, nice day for training isn't it?" Her wide eyed expression did not go unnoticed by the sharp toothed grin of the towering shark man, who dropped his sword to the side. Hinoiri took a step back. Kisame took a step forward.

"Don't you dare tickle me fish man, I will kick you so hard you will have a hard time sitting." False confidence rang through her voice and she cursed herself when she realized what she had said. She had vowed never to tell anyone about her ticklishness, but now that vow was broken, the fish man knew her weakness...

Kisame moved in to tickle her, but shocked when Hinoiri yelled, "DEIDARA-CHU! I CHOOSE YOU!", which caused Deidara to stop and stare at her. The shark man laughed at her attempt to get help and began mercilessly tickling her sides as the other members watched with weird expressions on their faces. Deidara decided to stop the tickling because secretly he feared that if he didn't, he wouldn't get his secret shipment of romance novels from Hinoiri anymore and he would actually have to sneak them in himself. With Hinoiri giving them to him, it wouldn't look as bad as if he had them. Nor as girly. Hinoiri tried to get others into romance novels sometimes and would lend them to the members at random intervals. She wouldn't accept them back until a week has passed. Thus to make it look like he wanted to get rid of them as soon as possible, he read them in the middle of the night under his sheets.

Grabbing Hinoiri from under Kisame, Deidara put her on his shoulder and ran off. Kisame went off in pursuit as he was still feeling the effects of whatever was in the air because of his bigger size. Everyone else just shook their heads and went to a village to get something for dinner...

**I don't really know what happened with this chapter...**

**Oh well, HOPED YOU ENJOYED IT!**


	5. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR: CROSS YOUR HEART AND HOPE YOU DON'T MURDER**

On a particularly warm summer day in Amegakure, a mission was carried out. A mission so important that only the best and strongest of the Akatsuki could accomplish... The mission of helping Hinoiri with the groceries. Her entourage being Kisame, Tobi, and Itachi and they were all carrying four to five bags, while Hinoiri looked at the list to see if she missed anything. So far things were going smoothly; no one tried to kill them and it didn't spontaneously start raining. Everything seemed to be accounted for, until Tobi went missing. Normally this disappearance wouldn't be much of a concern as most of the Akatsuki relished the moment that the annoying ball of orange was out of their hair and into another's. This time though, he had some of the groceries and tonight's meal. Without that meal, Hinoiri won't be able to cook something for the others because it would be too late and they all had missions the next day. So now their main priority was to find Tobi...

Hinoiri, Kisame, and Itachi spilt up into teams; Kisame going on his own, and Itachi went with Hinoiri. Searching for an orange swirly mask should be hard in a sea of browns and blacks, but somehow Tobi made it seem like a horrible game of ninja hide-and-go-seek where the person that was 'it' had as much chance of finding him as a normal person looking for a needle in a haystack. Although... Hinoiri, Kisame and Itachi did not want to play, they just wanted to go home...

"Where could he be? It shouldn't be this hard to find the stupid goof ball." Said the half-shark, half-human male.

"Hn..." (We all know who this is). Translation(1), "True, it should be hard as he also screams pretty loud too..."

"Well he couldn't have gone far..." Said the only female in the group. It was getting late and Hinoiri knew that if they didn't want to get eaten by something one of the other members made, she better get back soon. It was nearing 4 o'clock pm when they finally found him...

Tobi was talking animatedly to a strange pink haired fellow, but there were no grocery bags near or on his person. The poor pink haired man had to nod his head as Tobi continuously chattered at the weather, candy and his mask. The poor guy was even prompted by the lollipop man to give HIS opinion! Finally Tobi noticed the others and ran spazzastically over to them, supplies still not in hand.

"Tobi," Hinoiri started before asking, "Where are the groceries? You know I need them for dinner tonight."

"Oh! Tobi ran after the man that stole them, but creepy man said, 'If I cannot have them you cannot!' before destroying them with a bomb! Tobi tried to fix it, but then nice man came and started talking to Tobi cause Tobi is a good boy!" He squealed making the others want to cover their ears.

"So you lost the groceries..." Said Hinoiri before becoming kind of quiet. As if sensing a change in the mood Tobi backed up a little.

"Hino-chan okay?"

"Only once I hit you on the head! Those ingredients were expensive and I just got Kakuzu to up the grocery money!" Hinoiri chased after Tobi, who started to try and escape her anger due to money loss.

Needless to say, Kakuzu lowered their spending money and also tried to hurt Tobi. Hinoiri just managed to make dinner that night, but it was soup, not five spice curry like planned. Kisame and Itachi decided to never bring Tobi on another shopping mission again, which was agreed upon by Pein. On the other, Tobi decided to sleep outside as the other members were looking forward to curry and that got postponed...

**I just realised that in the second part of chapter three I spelt Kakuzu wrong and now its fixed(YAY).**

**Sorry I didn't update in a while, have a lot of work to do and its hard to find time to write TT~TT**

**Anywho... I have a poll up on my profile page for the title of the next chapie. Please vote!**

**(1)I will be translating some of Itachi's 'Hn's.**


	6. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE: OFF TO SEE THE WEIRDOS**

**Thanks to BloodieReader, Loveable'Ninja, and others that have followed my story. Thanks to my readers. And now for something that is long overdue; I do not own Naruto.**

**Without further ado, on with the story!**

Today was a day that most Akatsuki did not want to come; the negotiations with Orochimaru and his band of creepy misfits. No one really wanted to go and talk about peace with the snake, but it could not be avoided. To make sure that he stayed away from any of the bases and so that they wouldn't fight as much, these meeting were necessary. And of course, since she was new, Hinoiri had to go to one of these negotiations... With the protection of the immortal duo and Itachi.

Poor Hinoiri didn't have anyone to talk to the whole trip to the Land of Grass. Hidan didn't look her in the eye, nor did he talk as much as he use to in her presence. Kakuzu and Itachi didn't talk much in the first place, so that wasn't a problem. Instead of talking to someone, she decided to read while walking, but that didn't end well as she kept tripping. Then she tried counting trees, but after the hundredth tree, she lost count. Counting rocks didn't go so well either. Thus leaving a completely bored Hinoiri to count blades of grass... That didn't go as planned either. She was about to complain when in the distance, she saw a cave. It had to be Orochimaru's cave. Or so she thought until they walked past it. Fifteen minutes later and a lot of blades of grass, they arrived at the meeting point. Orochimaru(The Snake) was already there with Kabuto(Old Man Glasses) and Sasuke(The Duck). Unfortunately, it was Orochimaru that first noticed the new Akatsuki medic.

"Who is she? The new Akatsuki slave?" The man with the horrible makeup inquired, a secret meaning behind the word 'slave'. Little Hinoiri did not feel brave enough to answer the freaky 'man of long tongues', but luckly, Hidan had enough sense to protect her honor.

"Hinoiri is nothing like your fucking love toy!" The silver haired man waved his scythe around in a haphazard manner as he then pointed it towards the younger Uchiha.

"Hn." Was the older Uchiha's reply to his brother being bashed. A light blush was on Hinoiri's face, but she didn't let it distract her from her mission.

"We have to renew the treaty. Can't we bully each other later?" She stumbled over her words.

~CHANGE OF POV:NARRATOR INPUT~

Since I, THE narrator, rather not bore you to death about the details that happened during the meeting, I will give you the short and sweet version: Hinoiri got insulted by Sasuke more than once for being weak which lead to Hidan screaming death threats. Orochimaru was being the creeper he was and kept asking Itachi for his body. Kabuto and Kakuzu were the only ones actually making the treaty, but Kakuzu kept asking for money. Hinoiri tried to follow the decisions, but was interrupted by Sasuke who would insult her intelligence, in which led to more death threats from Hidan. All in all, it was successful. They just hated each other more.

~BACK TO NORMAL POV~

Pein did not like what he heard from Itachi, but since he couldn't kill the morons, he sent them on long missions to get them out of his hair. Except for Hinoiri because if he sent her, she would either die or be injured and frankly he didn't want to die by death of a thousand paper cuts. Konan was very motherly to the medic...

**Okay this one was a little more serious than most others... But I hope you enjoyed it :)**


	7. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX: SWISS CHEESE QUESTIONS**

Saturday, a day where Pein and Konan could actually relax... Actually, it was the only day they could relax on. Sunday, they had to work. The same went for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Saturdays usually consisted of Hinoiri cooking them pancakes and then they would either watch a movie together(a violent one despite Hinoiri insisting that they should be watching a romance). Nothing else really happens during the rest of Saturday, but one Saturday Hinoiri finally asked the question that had been haunting her ever since she met Pein.

"Leader-sama?" Shyly Hinoiri called his title. Pein turned towards her, eyebrow raised. Konan paused the movie(Jaws) and also looked at Hinoiri, curious at what she wanted.

"Ummm... I was wondering..." A faint blush was on the blonde haired girl's face. 'Is she in love with Pein?!' Konan thought to herself shocked. There was no previous actions that would lead to Hinoiri liking him, but Konan could see no other reason for her red face. He nodded for her to continue.

"If y-you removed your body studs... Would you become like Swiss cheese?"

...

...

...

Konan burst out laughing, Pein face palming and Hinoiri remained blushing though confused at why they were reacting in the way they were. As Konan quieted down, though she was still chuckling, Pein answered her question in an annoyed tone.

"No, I wouldn't become like Swiss cheese. I never take off my body piercings anyway..." Pein muttered out the last part before taking the DVD remote out of Konan's hand and un-paused the movie, ignoring the completely amused Konan and embarrassed medic. Konan got up and motioned for Hinoiri to follow her.

"Let him cool down a bit before we come back. I got a new outfit that I wanted to show you." Konan whispered as she led the medic to her room. Hinoiri nodded vigorously and added,

"I'll show you the new romance novel that Hidan got me from our trip... Err... Kidnapping to Jashinmart!" Konan made a weird face, but shook her head and continued on. Once again Hinoiri was confused by Konan's confusion and the look on her face.

Little did Hinoiri know that they had just past Hidan's room and he heard the whole comment that Hinoiri just said...

**Ohohoho~! Possible Hidan/Hinoiri pairing happening~! Please Review!**


	8. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN: WITH THE BIRDS AND THE FLOWERS**

It was a beautiful spring day, as beautiful as it could get in Amegakagure anyway. That means it wasn't raining like it did 99% of the time. Hinoiri, Konan and their 'loyal guard dog' Zetsu were going swimming at the lake located 90 degrees North of the unknown and 10 degrees West of where-the-heck-are-we-?. Basically meant that the possibility of being found was between zero and one in a trillion. Anyway, they were going swimming; Konan in a blue bikini, Hinoiri in a crimson one-piece and Zetsu as Zetsu. The water reflected the sky and as a mirror that is as fragile as a butterfly, its picture is only destroyed by the splashing of the female pair. All around them was the soft calls of birds and meadows of gentle flora. It was a small slice of paradise and the trio was in the middle of it.

Of course, the peace was never to last. With the luck only the Akatsuki could manage, the team of birds arrived. Team of bird brains at least. Hair spiked towards the sky, the 'boy wonder' with the pink 'forehead wonder', 'Bellybutton Sai' and old man scarecrow, Naruto entered the scene. The newly revamped Team 7 were on their merry way from a C-Class mission in the Land of the Rain and decided to cut through the meadow after they saw it on their way to the mission. Hinoiri looked around for a hiding spot as Konan did weird paper magic and Zetsu melted into the ground. Poor little medic had nowhere to hide though and was spotted by Kakashi, who eyed her suspiciously.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeey datteboy!" screamed Naruto, all caution thrown to the wind. Hinoiri sunk lower into the water, flustered and confused to the reasoning for the blonde's interest in her. Sakura, being the bitchy female she is, whacked Naruto on the head.

"You idiot Naruto! What if she was an enemy?!" Sakura screeched .

"Noisy..." Sai commented as he began to ignore the 'small' beating Sakura was dishing out, his attention on Hinoiri. Kakashi too, was ignoring his fighting students and was about to ask her some serious questions when he was attacked by Naruto. Naruto, by then, had forgotten about the medic and was wanting to get back to Konaha.

"Sensei! We have to get back to get our reward for our mission! And Granny-Tsunada has to take me out for ramen!" Kakashi sighed and looked back towards the place where Hinoiri was, but she was gone. So they left...

Hinoiri jumped out of the water as soon as she thought they were gone. Despite almost passing out, she knew she had to stay underwater as to avoid confrontation.

"_That boy's head is with the birds and the weeds(1),_" grumbled out black Zetsu, surprising Hinoiri.

"That's not true," whined white Zetsu, Konan appearing by Hinoiri's side.

"You abandoned me-!" whined Hinoiri as Konan handed her a towel.

"_Well everything was fine wasn't it._" snapped black Zetsu as he waited for them to leave. it was no longer safe here.

"Yes, but-" Konan stopped Hinoiri from completing her statement.

"Let's just go." said Konan, the voice of reason. And so they left the tiny piece of paradise, never to come again...

**IMPORTANT: I'm afraid that if I keep writing at this pace, this story will be done by the tenth chapter... Therefore I am putting out a challenge; come up with the base for the tenth chapter, the essence for that chapter. PM me to tell me what you think I should do. DO NOT PUT IT IN THE REVIEWS!**

**(1)Italics are for black Zetsu talking and it will be as so for every chapter.**


	9. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT: PUPPERT WHAT?! PUPPET BOOM!**

Holidays, Life's little miracles that only happen once or twice in a year. For the Akastuki, holidays were the excuse for; Deidara to blow up the base, puppet making days, survival of the fittest(or most useful in Hinoiri's case), head to wall banging, food killing, Jashin worshipping, romance reading, bed hogging, TV smashing, etc etc... These 'holidays'(as Pein would call them 'Stress-building days') caused multiple wounds, some near fatal and others not so much. Hinoiri was always busy and though she was the assigned cook, she had no time to and that was left to Konan as she felt sorry for the medic.

On the eighth day of the 'holiday', Deidara blew up one of Sasori's puppets... With a clay fork(for reasons unknown, Deidara chooses a fork. Stay tuned for more wacky clay sculptures on 'FUN WITH THE AKATSUKI!'). With lots of butt-kissery, Sasori didn't murder Deidara, but Hinoiri was made in charge of babysitting them. She had to follow them around and make sure no more mishaps occurred.

Unfortunately, as always, no one really listened to her due to their greater-than-thou attitude. While Sasori did not do anything against her, he didn't listen to her either, but he wasn't the one causing the problems. It was Deidara that was being the insufferable little prick, causing lots of annoyance with the other members and people outside the base. He didn't always kill the people either and so all the Akatsuki members had to stay inside, which causes a lot of problems. When you try to put some of the world's most deadly murderers in one house for long periods of time, bad things tend to happen.

The fifteenth day rolled on by, thankfully without an incident. Deidara was actually behaving for once that whole 'holiday' and that put Sasori on edge. There were no explosions typical of the blonde terrorist. Late at night, when all had gone to bed, except for Sasori as he was in the living room reading, Deidara snuck onto the red-head's side of the room and filled a puppet full of explosive clay. Small snickers came from the blonde as he thought about the surprise his partner was in for when he used the puppet the next day. This puppet was the newest in Sasori's collection and the puppet user had yet to try it out in battle. So tomorrow, during training, Deidara was going to ask to train with his partner and when he exploded one of his smaller bombs, the puppet would explode as well.

"I'm a genius, un." Deidara whispered to himself as he went back to his side of the room, into his bed and fell asleep with dreams of explosions dancing in his head.

All was going to Deidara's plan. Sasori had agreed to Deidara's training request with a pushing from Hinoiri, who said she would referee the match. When they moved into battle positions, Hinoiri started the fight.

Sasori manipulated the puppet to slash at Deidara's head, but it moved too sluggishly and was easily avoided. He frowned, the puppet wasn't this heavy last time he remembered. A smirk formed on Deidara's face, he didn't want to finish with a 'small' bang quite yet. The battle had just begun and Sasori had yet to abandon the puppet to use taijutsu. Then Sasori surprised him. Instead of trying to use his puppet more, the red head abandoned it early and attacked with a solid kick to the ribs. The puppet's weight was too heavy and Sasori knew something was up. Its design was to be a light weight agility model for quick administration of deadly poisons, but now it moved like a heavy weight used for strength attacks and crushing victims under it. He knew that Deidara had done something to it, but didn't know what it was. Sasori tried to kept his distance from the puppet, though Deidara did everything he could to make sure that he was as close as possible. Hinoiri watched from the sidelines. She knew why Sasori had abandoned the puppet so early in the fight. During the period that she had to watch the pair, she had asked what the puppet was used for.

Now was the time, Deidara finally made his move. He took out a ball of clay, molded it and threw it at Sasori.

"KATSU!" The small bomb and the puppet exploded with so much power that the whole training room blew up. It was only due to Hinoiri that they didn't die then and there. Though she was weak physically compared to the other Akatsuki members, she could best some of them in chakra and stamina. That was the reason she was a medic. Medics usually had high chakra and good control over it. When she saw Deidara getting ready for an explosion, she summoned a turtle for Deidara, Sasori and herself. The turtle's shell protected them from most of the blast, though they still had some wounds from the shock waves. That night Deidara was forced to stay in a dungeon cell and with no dinner. Hinoiri on the other hand, got taken out for dinner with the others. The next day, the blonde and red pair were sent on a mission as extra punishment...

**Hoped you enjoyed~!**

**Also, I have a new story called 'Firework Crow' coming out that is linked to this story. Please check it out!**


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